The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm way too hungover for life right now
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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