it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
