yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
