i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
