I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
