I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
