Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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