he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize