The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
