He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
