shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
