you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
