He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
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i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
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He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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