There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
only if we run a train.
done.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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