Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
