So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
