A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my sisters under your porch take her home
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
