We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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