It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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