I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
from now on my penis is your penis
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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