What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
