We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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