i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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