PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
