i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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