Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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