Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
