I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
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Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.