Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.

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  (514): I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later. http://tfl.nu/cmn8
  Replies (6) Good night (2428) Bad night (552)
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  (714): View more from California

  she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.

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  (714): she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt. http://tfl.nu/52xp
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  (315): View more from New York

  The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.

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  (315): The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is. http://tfl.nu/aqok
  Replies (97) Good night (7769) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.

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  (631): i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties. http://tfl.nu/jppt
  Replies (18) Good night (4048) Bad night (1030) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.

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  (617): road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school. http://tfl.nu/xo9e
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  dibs on John Mayer's hood pass

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  (267): dibs on John Mayer's hood pass http://tfl.nu/rqbz
  Replies (35) Good night (2581) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.

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  (330): theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that. http://tfl.nu/wccj
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night

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  (724): I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night http://tfl.nu/leh0
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him

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  (703): Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him http://tfl.nu/ek6e
  Replies (9) Good night (5428) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa

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  (401): I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa http://tfl.nu/56cb
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted

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  (785): totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted http://tfl.nu/rzdq
  Replies (2) Good night (3170) Bad night (556) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game

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  (919): she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game http://tfl.nu/obaf
  Replies (11) Good night (3038) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.

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  (515): It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them. http://tfl.nu/9jno
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  (805): View more from California

  Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life

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  (805): Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life http://tfl.nu/5728
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.

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  (317): Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over. http://tfl.nu/42be
  Replies (6) Good night (687) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt

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