my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas