He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.