I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
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I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.