You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
