Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
