why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
