He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
you never un-have a 4some
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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