I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
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Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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