Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
