Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Drake has all the answers
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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