Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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