the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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