the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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