Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
