think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
