So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i already hear my dad disowning me
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
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the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
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I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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