Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Four minutes until I can fart!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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