I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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