I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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