suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
