im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
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I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
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Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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