I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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