Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
