I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
