The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
