Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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