Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
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Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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