READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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