Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just had sex on a roof
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
