Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
They are going to name an STD after you.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
