is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
