So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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