This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
