It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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