I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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