She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
