can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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