Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
